sad cat

Saying i love you Sad story

Zeus strolled into Cheryl's yard about 14 months ago.The average person might have reasonably run inside and called the police department, since Pendleton, IN does not have an animal control. You see, Zeus was not a small dog. Not even just a large dog. Zeus at 95 pounds of skin and bones was a HUGE dog. Luckily for Zeus, and for Cheryl, and for those of us at my clinic who got to love him, Cheryl didn't run inside or call the police. She took him in and fed him. She risked her spoiled pampered Persian cat becoming a mid day snack; took pity on the gentle giant, and brought him inside her home and her heart. It was impossible not to fall in love with Zeus. He was an older Rottweiler,not neutered, and as sweet and loving,and well mannered a dog as I have ever met. The vets loved him, the staff loved him, Cheryl loved him most of all, and Zeus loved us all back unconditionally, and never stopped being happy to see any human that came around. We first met him at PVC when he came in for a check up and vaccines. He tested negative for heartworms, and was put on preventative and scheduled to get rid of the undesirable boy parts he still had. He was taught at some point not to kiss, but he knew how to kiss like a person, without a sloppy wet Rottie tongue, and was free with his nose kisses and hugs which he did by laying his head on your shoulder.
When he came in for his neuter, he had packed on a bit of weight, and his bilateral (both sides) elbow displasia had gotten worse from carrying more weight, and he was pretty sore. Cheryl elected to take him to a referral surgeon for repair. The staff at the referral practice also fell in love with him, and got their fair share of Zeus lovins.
He came in this summer for his yearly tests and shots, and we discovered to our horror that he was heartworm positive. This could have been a product failure, but more likely was because he was infected prior to testing the first time, but not long enough prior for him to show up positive yet. My coworker contacted the company that made the product, and much to our surprise, even though he really didn't qualify for their guarantee, since he wasn't tested 6 months after being placed on the product, they agreed to pay for $500 dollars of his treatment. They did this because they read his history, saw that the incredible woman who had adopted him had spent so much money on him, for shots, surgeries, and pain medications, that they felt strongly that it was the right thing to do for her.
We took xrays of his chest and did bloodwork to make sure he was strong and healthy enough for treatment, and nothing other than a reasonable amount of lung damage from the heartworms showed up, and the bloodwork looked fine. Let me add that although a 145 pound dog is not easy to xray no matter how cooperative, he was an angel. He didn't struggle, didn't thrash around, even when we pulled his front legs out to get the view where he was laying on his back with his legs stretched backward. That had to hurt his poor elbows, and also the arthritis in his back, but he didn't complain, just gave us those sad puppy eyes that always seemed to say, "Really, you want me to do that? Well, ok, since I love you." He took the incredibly painful injections into the muscles along his spine with the same stoic, but eager to please attitude. He was the first dog we've ever had to do that was so big we had to do the treatment with two shots in each site. He came in for one treatment, then again one month later for one in each side a day apart.
About a week ago, Cheryl called the clinic. Zeus hasn't acted right since the treatment. He isn't wanting to eat, and it had gotten worse recently. When he came in, Cheryl told me that if anything happened to her, she wanted me and my husband to have Zeus, because she knew we would love him as much as she did. I was so touched, and hoped that wasn't an indication that she wasn't well. Zeus had lost weight and when we tested his urine and blood, he had an elevated white count, which indicated a bladder infection.
He had very mildly elevated kidney enzymes, but was dehydrated, so that is not terribly unusual or alarming. We started him on antibiotics. He didn't improve. In fact, he got worse. He started vomiting and had some diarrhea. When he came in on Monday his eyes were sad. He telegraphed his sadness as well as if he had been able to speak. As well as he formerly did his joy in being alive. Blood results were the same, except the white blood count had improved. Our doctors checked his xrays, and then since they weren't sure, took them to a radiologist to evaluate them, too. We placed an iv catheter. This was one of the worst experiences of my veterinary assisting career. The darnn things just wouldn't thread into the vein. He is a huge dog. It should not have been so hard, but i tried, the other assistant tried, the kennel assistant, who is actually way more than that, and a better blood person than most of our staff, also tried. Finally after the vet's fourth attempt, and about 11 catheters, the vet placed one in his back leg, and we got the fluids going. Zeus, in typical Zeus fashion, never even pulled away. He flinched a few times, but that was it.
Next morning, the blasted iv was out. The radiologist that had looked at the films said he really believed it was something to do with enlarged kidneys, and there were opaceties (Spots that can be tumors, or possibly abscesses) in the lungs, but he couldn't give a diagnosis, and recommended ultrasound. Even knowing that it was probably cancer, Cheryl took him down, on the outside chance that maybe it was abscesses from the dying heartworms, and that he could be saved. Unfortunately, the ultrasound showed horribly disfigured kidneys, and what looked like metastasized tumors, which means they had spread from another source. We don't know where. It could have been his heart, his bones, his intestines are a likely candidate, or his prostate. We just don't know, but since it had spread so much, we do know that there wasn't anything anyone could do to make him well again, or even better for a while. She could have had the referral practice put him to sleep, but Cheryl took him home, with a new catheter they kindly placed for us, and brought him to us. She knew how much our staff loved him, and wanted him to be surrounded by that love in his last minutes. He was surrounded, too. So was she. Every staff member present in the clinic went in, and sat, and cried with them while we did the procedure. I hugged Cheryl and told her I knew it wasn't very professional to cry, but there just wasn't any way I could stop, and I hoped she understood. She said that was why she had brought him back in to us. I was crying, but managed to keep fairly good control. Then we gave him an injection of sedative, and somehow, it seemed to clear his head for just a moment, and he looked at me, for all the world like he hadn't realized it was me, and nosed me three or four times. I felt like he was saying he loved me, and knew I was trying to take care of him, and didn't hold all the hurting we had done to him against me. I told him i loved him too, and he put his head down and went to sleep.
His passing was as easy possible, he didn't struggle or get scared when he felt the drugs, and he is now free of all the bodily pain he has lived with for so very very long. He died knowing absolutely for certain that he was the best dog ever, and that everyone loved him. I know, because I told him so. So did the vet, the receptionist, and the kennel manager. And his Momma. Never did a dog wander into better luck with a human than Zeus did. In 14 months, she did every possible thing she could to make his life happy.She spent thousands of dollars on a dog she didn't even buy. And she was apologizing to him while he went, that she couldn't do more. Amazing.
When you work in veterinary medicine, you see a lot of people who view animals as disposable possessions, and not worthy of investing love or money into. Sometimes you get very discouraged after having to euthanize a dog with a broken leg that you know could have been fixed, and you become disgusted with the human race. Then you find out how good people can be, how amazing a dog can be. Someone you knew was a good pet owner, who loved her Persian kitty and came in regularly, turns out to be a superhero to a dog most people would have run from. It makes all the rest fade, and makes you feel like you have the best job in the world. Even when faced with the horrible sorrow of saying goodbye, you are still grateful, because you were so lucky to have gotten to know and love him, and be a part of making his last year full of all the love he had missed in the first years.
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Writer's Block: Do-over!

If you were given a life do-over card, would you keep it or give it to a friend? If you kept it, would you prefer to be born to the same or different parents? Would you want to keep your memories?

I would use it, and keep my memories.  I don't know that I wouldn't make the same mistakes if I couldn't keep my memories. Besides, my memories are sparse enough, I wouldn't want to lose any of them!  I would flash back to the day my dad filled out my student aid forms for my senior year in college and not have them messed up, and finish my degree in Elementary Education.  I might not have stuck with it, but at least I would have a very well rounded college education and could use that degree to do all kinds of other things.
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what I like about you...

I  decided to do this one because i know i can always use a boost, and i enjoy the chance to give others a boost as well. Hearing something positive about yourself that you might not have thought of is a good thing.  So here ya go.


Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, if you're up for the challenge.
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Old year ends

Spent the evening last night in a wonderful mix of company at the hutch of a wonderful friend.  It was a truly excellent time, and i got to see two people top two different bottoms in most hot and sexy scenes that made me wiggle in my seat for sure!  Of course, as i knew would be the case, the most excellent fluffy bunny was a spectacular hostess, and her hutch always makes my soul sigh with pleasure.
On to this last night of the year 2009, which my Sir and i will spend with kids i love and am amused by, playing games with them and the adults i likewise love. I think it shall be a good year indeed if the way you bring it in influences the year to come!
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(no subject)

Questions from lady_elsa  Sorry it took so long to answer! 1. How has your life changed since getting married? Do other people treat you differently? Do you treat each other differently?  Well, the biggest change has been living together, as he only moved in with me officially a little while before the wedding.  It really hasn't changed much otherwise,  i don't think.  2. If you could go to college for free for as long as you wanted, what would you study?  Lots.  I would start with a Library Science degree, and go on to get one degree after the other, i believe.  I would like to study writing, Literature, History, Psychology, culinary arts for sure, probably at least a few management classes, so i could be more smart with managing my life, medical coding so i could pay the bills while i went to school forever, possibly.  I would continue to learn as much as i could for the rest of my life, i think. 3. Describe what sub-space feels like to you.  OOH, boy, that is a tough one.  It feels spinny, lightheaded, drunkish, like i was on a roller coaster ride and just got off.  Usually i don't actually feel floaty, just "out of it".  I am usually aware of my surroundings but not really able or willing to react to them. 4. What are the top three things Bill loves about you? My sense of humor, my heart,  the way i "get"  him usually.
sad cat

A dog's wish

You know, i think, if you are a dog, the very best life you can hope to live is to have a job, to be needed, to be loved and love the human(s) you live with, and to die with dignity. My brother had to make the heartwrenching decision to put his Mac to sleep today, and i really don't think she could have asked for more out of her life. She had a job, to get Dad through when he needed her, she was loved, by so very many people, and she loved her dad. And today, he gave her the peaceful death she deserved. Goodbye Mac, and rest in peace.
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5 Questions

These are my 5 questions from fluffthebunny . If you want questions from me, respond to this post.


1. If you could transform yourself into any animal for 24 hours, what kind of animal would you like to be? Must be real and non-extinct (no magical unicorns). I think it would have to be a housecat. I would like to know how if feels on their end to purr and sit on tummys/laps/boobiepillows.

2. What historical figure do you admire most because of their service-to-others, and why? Well, i would have to say Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He has always been a particular hero to me because he knew he would almost certainly die for what he was doing, but believed in it enough to make the journey and speak his mind regardless of that very real fear.


3. If you had to choose one and forsake the other for the rest of your life... Greek or Indian cuisine? Forsake Indian. would hate hate hate it, but Greek is my favorite.

4. How did you first discover a community of kinksters? An ex boyfriend of mine that i had stayed friends with found the local kink group in Anderson, and shared that info with me and went to the first munch and play party with me.

5. How did you and your Sir meet each other... and was it love-at-first-sight? We met at the previously mentioned munch, well, we saw each other there, anyway, and then when i was looking at matches on ALT.com, i saw him and said, "Hey, didn't i see you at a party?" It wasn't exactly love at first site, but by the end of the next month's play party it was pretty dang close.
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Women's one great flaw.

I got this in one of those forward to nine friends emails, and while i don't want to forward the rest of the junk in there, this part is something i think a lot of my friends could stand to see. I am as guilty as any of you, too.
One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men..

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

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