inked_freak

I got this in one of those forward to nine friends emails, and while i don't want to forward the rest of the junk in there, this part is something i think a lot of my friends could stand to see. I am as guilty as any of you, too.

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men..

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY  CRICKET!!!!!

Anyone interested in judging a college speech and debate tournament?  My university, University of Indianapolis is having it's annual tournament on Saturday Sept 12, not sure exactly the time.  You don't have to have done speech before to judge, it's a pretty simple procedure, but it does help a bit probably.  If you are interested, but not sure if you qualify, send me a message and i will try to answer any questions.  I am excited i get the chance to be a part of that again after all these years, but would love to have some company for the day!

Master and i will be dining at India Garden in Broadripple on Saturday this weekend rather than Sunday, at 12:30.  Anyone wishing to join us is welcome, the buffet is fabulous and inexpensive, a great combination!  They have several vegetarian options, as well as at least one lamb and several chicken dishes every weekend.  We have my friend from Southern IN and fluffthebunny joining us this week, and would love to see other folks, too!

Happy birthday to  sarah9380  I hope it's a good day, and your wishes this year come true!

I don't have a clue in the world what i did in my life to deserve the family i got to choose as an adult, but whatever it was, i am so freaking lucky and grateful and feel more blessed than words could ever say...so i will just say, i love you all.

=Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you.  Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.  These are my words, given by elsa_wolf_in 

Kind- something i strive for always.
Patient- sometimes i fall very short
Married-Hee, cheesy grin.  Newlywed
Animals-my passion, my calling
Tattoos-want more!

Mom, sister and i all survived our shopping trip today, but it was a mighty close call at the start.  It started out with my mom having a minor hissy fit, "I am going to have to put my foot down on this one" about not buying prepared meat trays.  You might think she was still on the cooking and slicing all of the meat herself, putting in on trays and serving it, but, no, it wasn't that.  NOW it's too much trouble to buy meat pre-sliced at GFS and put the meat on trays to serve it.  We don't want to go to all that trouble to put the meat on trays, we can't make it pretty, it doesn't matter how much it costs, she will pay for it with her 200 buck allowance, the idea is just ridiculus to prepare the trays ourselves.  When i pointed out three days ago she wanted to cook, slice and put the meat on trays, she said, "Yes, and i still would if it would save money."    This is the point my poor sister walked in on.  My eyeballs were about to pop out of my head for the inrrationality coming out of my mom's mouth!  And my dad decided to hire someone to watch the tables and keep things out and fresh, without asking me or my sister.  How hard would it be to take the old tray off and put a new one on if we were getting premade trays?  Fortunately, my sister remained calm up to that point, and said, "OK, lets sit down and figure out cost and see if buying trays is even an option with the money we have.  Meat and cheese trays would cost almost 200 bucks more, and that figure reluctantly made my mom agree to putting the meat and cheese on trays ourselves.  Then mom insisted i had to have a round cake on tiers, so i could have the bride and groom, which i never in a million years would want on my cake. I agreed to a round decorated cake because she wouldn't listen to me long enough to get that i don't want that.  The cake i am going to eat is going to be chocolate with chocolate frosting, so i don't have to scrape the frosting off.   Later, when we got down to specifics, she listened to what i was saying and heard me say i don't want a normal cake, so we won that one, too.  At one point in the planning my mom got very upset and went crying into the other room because, i am not even sure what set that off, i think it was the meat, and my sister lost her patience, because my mom was feeling very sorry for herself and Kim decided that for some reason, she couldn't hold back another second from telling my mom she needs to think more positively about whatever is going on and not give up.  Ok, mom is down, and she is not likely to believe anything short of a brain tumor or Alzheimer's is causing her memory problem, but in the middle of a crying jag while we are trying to plan my reception, is not the time.  Actually, anytime i am in the room is not a good time to start yelling and hollering and fighting, because my reaction was to run to the bathroom crying and coming really close to losing my lunch.  I believe that they heard me bawling in the bathroom in the living room and got a hold on their respective tempers and feelings and got back to business and other than a few little things like Mom insisting she is going to buy little toy treats for all of the kids that are coming, even though all but perhaps 4 of the kids are way too old for the kind of little toys she is talking about, and throwing in things left and right, and buying stuff she didn't have to have right now, just because, sometimes literally, it was shiny and caught her eye, the remainder of the day went ok.  Thank the powers that be that i don't have to do that again.  Kim and or i are ordering the GFS stuff that has to be preordered, we will probably buy the other stuff together and take it down there to put together, and Sir and i are buying the Costco stuff, and i love shopping with him.  We got everything done today we need to do except buy a kiddie pool for the pop, and Kim is going to order the cake, the decorator in Marion is really good.  Whew!

I am not a terribly traditional person, as most of you know, lol, but one old superstition i do want to keep in my wedding is the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  I have everything else covered, new jewelry and dress, my great grandmother's wedding band is what i will be wearing as my own, and my dress has blue in it.  I don't have anything borrowed, and i can't keep a penny in my shoe, it doesn't have anywhere to put one.  I do have a free wrist, and am wearing silver jewelry, so i thought i would see if any of my local friends might have a bracelet i could borrow on June 21st?  I don't think a fancy filigreed bracelet would work, but pretty much any other simple silver bracelet would go ok with my jewelry.  On the other wrist i am wearing four bangle braclets with round pseudo beads on a plain thin band.  Other bangles would work on the other hand, or beaten silver, or even a silver wristwatch  or silver and black or silver with a little bit of gold, as the wedding band is gold, but very very thin and delicate.  Barring that, if anyone has another idea for how to carry a penny borrowed from my family, and not having it fall out, that would be a fine substitute.

My sister sent me an email today.  Apparently my mother is upset because we are leaving her out of the food planning and preparation.  We have decided it would make more sense to buy roast beef and some other lunch meat for sandwiches, and cheese already sliced, than to purchase them and cook them ourselves.  Originally, my aunt was going to do all the cooking, and somehow between then and a couple of weeks ago, it became Mom was going to do all the cooking of meat and we would just buy potato salad and condiments, etc.  If mom had suggested she do it all to begin with, i would have vetoed the idea the second it came up and insisted on a caterer. My aunt has experience serving meals to large groups of people, in a previous job, so i reluctantly agreed to her doing the food, knowing it would be good, but not wanting her to have to go to that much trouble and work full time crazy hours.  Mom, not so much.  Remember, this is the mom who can't remember what day of the week it is on a regular basis, and thinks the wedding is the 22nd, not the 21st.  I am not about to rely on her getting it all done on Saturday and then finding out she thought Saturday was Friday or something like that.  NOPE!!!  Then then there is her brothers and their families.  They all told her at Christmas they would be here.  Then my uncle had a retirement snafu, paperwork got messed up and he is not going to be able to retire until later in the year, so he would have to take time off work, and evidently can't afford that. Another aunt got pneumonia and used all her sick days and also can't afford to take off.  The youngest brother and his wife and son are going to make it, and are coming the Friday before, another reason for Mom not to have to cook everything while she is visiting with her brother.  My mom is unreasonably upset, and is trying to pay for them all to come, including hotel rooms and wages lost.  BUT she doesn't want to spend the extra money on cooked lunch meat.  I don't want her to feel excluded, but it's hard to include someone that is having a major depression, major memory loss issues and won't come out on planning sprees with us anyway.  Sister and i are planning to price everything tomorrow, and bring it to her knowing exactly the difference between cooking ourselves and buying the stuff, and then making plans for us all to get together and prepare the trays so we include her, but don't rely on her, and hopefully everyone will be happy.  I am thinking i should have eloped.  But i wanted our family (blood and chosen) to be able to help us celebrate, and participate in some instances, and i wanted something not cheesy to remember.  I don't want to be worried about my mom not getting things done, or having a major drinking spree during cooking and ruining all that meat, either. She has a history of some really bad creative decisions when she is drinking, such as meat loaf with chopped lettuce and carrot salad baked ON TOP!! 
So, any positive vibes and thoughts that can be sent my way tomorrow when i try to talk reason into my mentally unstable mother would be greatly appreciated.

Totally unrelated:  We have a dog boarding this week that came in yesterday.  This afternoon, he vomited what appeared to be on first glance, a banana shaped stuffed toy.  Roughly the size of a short fat banana.  The kennel attendant took it apart, and it turns out it was two socks, one adult, one child's.  The funny part is the child's sock was Sesame Street, with Cookie monster on it, that says "Yummy in my Tummy".  Hee!

My mom's Neuro thinks what is wrong with her is depression, which she thinks is another way of saying it's in your head.  It's not that at all, according to my dad, but Mom has had experiences before where she felt she wasn't being taken seriously because of her history of depression, and is now convinced that is the story.  This has made her depression worse, which has made everything else worse, too.  Sigh.  So today she decided she doesn't want to go shopping with my sister and i for wedding stuff, which makes me sad.  We changed the plan of action for the day slightly and instead of the normal her going with the flow, she got really spooked and hermited up and said she doesnt want to go at all.  I don't want to guilt her into going, so we are not going to do everything we planned on today, and are going to make plans for another day for the rest of the stuff.  I know she cant help it but i am still sad.

So, my dad goes on a fishing trip every year to Louisiana and he really needs the time off, as he works crazy hard.  This year, with my mom having serious memory problems, i assumed my aunt would be taking over for him at work, as my mom no longer works.  I don't really think she should drive much, as her memory is really bad.  When we went out to eat recently, before our drinks came, she thought she had forgotten to order them.  One of the last times she did work, she got ready to draw blood on a patient, and forgot how altogether. 
So i called my mom today, thinking with Dad not there to help her remember things, she may be feeling scared or frustrated.  Well, she was. Apparently my freaking father has lost his cotton picking mind.  It seems it didn't occur to him that she might not be able to do like she has in the past, and take over for him for the week.  So he left her in charge.  With no notes to help her remember who to fax or what their fax numbers are, no planning at all, he just assumed she would be able to work a full work week and remember who needs to be drawn and when and what home she is supposed to be going to on which day and or even what tube is required for each type of test.  Honestly, she has to have notes to remember what day of the fucking WEEK it is, but he left her in CHARGE!?  I knew he was in a bit of denial, thinking the drugs she started about a month ago are helping a lot, and he truly believes it isn't Alzheimer's, but i had no earthly idea he was that fucking dumb.  I am so furious at him for putting her in the position of being in a nursing home, having drawn the blood, and not knowing how to get back out to her car.  Of course, that scared her, and frustrated her, and she got somewhat hysterical, and has apparently been crying most of the day.  What kind of patient care is that, let alone what it does to my mom to be so scared and confused.  She does pretty good staying focused if she has a list of what she needs to do and can check things off, but for mercy's sake, she cannot draw blood every day for a week, and she doesn't need to be made to feel scared and incompetent and lost. 
I did not take hearing about this well at all.  I called my Sir and cried to him for a bit, and then tried really hard to get a hold on myself, but continued to cry the rest of the way home, about 10 minutes, and a bit of hysteria when i got home before i could get out of the car.  Just a little bit, not in panic, but in sadness of what she is going through, and thinking about what i have to learn to accept.  The chances are very slim this isn't Alzheimer's, and what she has feared more than anything else about growing old is likely to happen, and if the progression so far is any indication, it is gonna happen fairly quickly.  My mom has been my rock, my comfort, my biggest fan, my laughter and my confidant most of my life.  I don't know how to lose that.  
So, i did something productive instead of JUST bawling.  I ordered books.  When something comes at me i don't know how to deal with but can't avoid, i find books, and i read as much as i can. So i ordered books.  Just ordering them has made me feel a little less helpless and lost.  I hope reading them gives me some understanding and helps me figure out what i can do to help her, and help the rest of my family. 
But i still can't stop crying.

Question
from </a></b></a>stryger

Some people have a line that they don't want to see crossed when it comes to playing with someone other than your primary partner. At what point would playing with another person (not a threesome) cross over your comfort line?

For me, this happens when it gets sexual.  I am not speaking of pinching my nipples, but touching the girly bits to me is off limits unless permission is specifically granted prior to the scene.  I don't mind intimate, i have scened with partners who give very sensual, intimate beatings, and i loved that, but not to the extent of touching my girly bits! I also would prefer no permanent marks from someone other than my Master.  Temporary ones are fine, but except for accidental cuts, i would rather avoid scars not given by Master.





What type of service or act of service is your favorite or most fulfilling to provide to others? Would you have different answers for in a lifestyle context/relationship vs in a vanilla setting? 

The most fulfilling type of service for me i believe is the unsolicited service.  I like serving when asked, too, don't get me wrong, but if i can see a need, usually small ones, someone has, and have it for them before they can ask, it really makes my soul happy.  I don't know exactly what it is about having a pen out for a person, or finding a hair clip to get the hair out of their eyes or whatever, that makes me happy, but it does.  I think this is the same for me in lifestyle or vanilla contexts, too.

Yay!  I got a question!  I was worried about not getting one when i posted.


What is your biggest fear about getting married?

I guess the biggest fear is that we will somehow drift apart and not be able to get it back. I think that happens with a lack of communication, sometimes.  I think He and i communicate very well, though, so i am hoping it won't happen with us.

Okay, now that i know how to do this, i am going to overcome my nervousness at the idea, and jump on the question bandwagon.  Ask anything you want, and i will answer privately, if you have a really good question i think other people might want to know about me for some reason, i will ask you if it's ok to post the question without names.

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Master in the chair with Diva sleeping on him.
Q. How many televisions you have in your house?
One barely used

BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
teeth
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Probably a dog
Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
nope
LIEOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
depends on how i was going to die.  If it was sudden, yes.
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Amy Loman, i am going to, this June, lol
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Red?
DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Yes
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
If i could read other people's blogs, and still email.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
If there was not a stipulation for keeping it down, yes.

DUMBOLOGY
Q. What is in your left pocket?
lint
Q. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
I have no idea
Q. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
orange and yellow shag, baby!
Q. Do you sit or stand in the shower?
Stand
Q. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None, i despise flip flops

LASTOLOGY
Q. Last person who texted you?
slintbob</span>
Q. Last person who called you?
</span>
Q. Person you hugged?
My friend Lana from work

FAVORITOLOGY
Q. Number?
9.
Q. Season?
Spring
Q. Colour?
Greenredyellowpurple

CURRENTOLOGY
Q. Missing someone?
yep, several someones
Q. Mood
shockingly energetic
Q. Listening to?
my toilet upstairs, gotta go jiggle the handle...again.
Q. Watching?
The text I'm typing.
Q. Worrying about?
money
Q. Wearing?
flannel pj bottoms and fleece pj top

RANDOMOLOGY
Q. First place you went this morning?
the bathroom
Q. What can you not wait to do?
get my bedroom cleaning finished
Q. Do you smile often?
Yes. :)
Q. Are you a friendly person?
I think so.

If you find a dog, or a cat, as a "stray" or "dumped in the country" animal, for heaven's sake, please take the thing directly to the nearest shelter or veterinary clinic and ask them to scan it for a microchip!!!  This will prevent you from getting attached to it and not wanting to give it up if it did, indeed, run off, or get lost, and you later find out it does have a chip, and it will keep the former owner, who possibly feels guilt and worry and dread on a weekly basis, from worrying and wondering what has become of their beloved pet.
Today, we saw a "stray" dog that a family had found, and decided to get checked out and vaccinated.  As i was scanning for a microchip, standard procedure for any "stray" pet that is brought in, i casually asked the man how long they had had her.  Almost a year, he answered, just as the chip reader popped up with a microchip number.  Well, hell!  So i went out to the vet to find out if we are legally obligated to contact the former owners, thinking that would make it easier for this guy to understand the former owner had to be told, and did a search for the tag number in our database, to see if it was one of ours-bingo again!  She was one of ours, and had "run off" about a year ago, and the owner had looked and looked for her, and finally given up and purchased another dog.    The new family has 4 children aged 6-15, and the man was seriously dreading telling them that they had to give up their beloved adopted "stray" dog!
We are legally obligated to contact the former owner, so we did, and told him of the situation.  He co owned the dog and had to contact the other owner, to make sure it would be ok with her if the new people kept the dog.  He called back a few minutes later and said that she had agreed to letting them keep the dog, with the stipulation that they be allowed to see the dog and say goodbye.  At least they now know that their dog is safe, and happy, and very well loved, and not in fact dead in a ditch or eaten by coyote.   She was a full grown lab, so she would have had to have been hit by a car or attacked by a pack, but coyote are always abundant in my neck of the woods, so i am quite sure that was a possibility to them every time they thought of their pet.  I know when i think of my cat that broke out a screen and took off like the hounds of hell were chasing him when i moved to Pendleton, i always fear that he was eaten by a large roaming dog, or hit by a car and killed, or contracted a horrible cat disease and died slowly and miserably from some horrible infection that wouldn't heal, so i am quite sure they had an active imagination going on about what became of their poor baby.  My boy was also chipped, so i have devoutly hoped and convinced myself that what actually happened was that he ran into someone's house, some old man or woman, and they didn't even know about microchips, and were raised in the days when pets only went to the vet when they were sick, if then, and since he hasn't had so much as a sniffle in the 4 years since i lost him, he has never been scanned by a vet so that is why he is still missing, not that he got killed.  Should said little old lady have to take him in for halitosis and a dental cleaning next week, and i get a call that he has been found, the old woman is welcome to keep him, but i would bless her soul every day for the rest of my life for letting me know he is ok.  I am quite sure the original owners of this dog, while wishing the new family had brought the dog in last year to be scanned, are very very happy to find out their pet is safe and very happy, with lots of kids to play fetch with and get belly rubs from.  I just wish that they had been saved the anguish i know all too well they have been going through for the past 10 months. All it would have taken was a 10 minute car ride to a vet's office, and a quick scan of the computer.

Man, i miss my Jamie Roy!  (mandie, he was a very large, very orange and red tabby cat, who's mommy is obsessed with Diana Gabaldon books!)

Happy Birthday to Mary Ellen!!!  Hope it is an awesome day!

Happy Holidays to all and please be careful and safe!!!

I have the most wonderful friends in the world, both kinky and vanilla.  My oh so vanilla friend not only came out and got my soggy butt last night, but this morning she picked me up and took me to my car and then got herself soaking we hooking a tow chain to both cars and pulled my poor car out of the ditch!  Almost as good is that the wheel seems to be ok, and nothing is hurt on my poor car!  Woot woot!!!  Catsitting is done for the day, and i only have one more stop to make before i am finished shopping.  I would have been done earlier, but i had gift cards to pick up and my sister didnt tell me what to get my youngest nephew since my aunt got him the same thing i did.  I just couldnt drag my sick carcass out to get gift cards earlier, so i hit the mall today and got one, and will hit Target later and get my nephew's.  I am so incredibly happy my car is out of the ditch and drivable!  OOOH, and i am feeling better today, too!!   Sunshine and happy dance!!!!!